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rue-madame's Diaryland Diary

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The ripple effect

All the public trashcans in my neighborhood have been covered up to deter terrorists from putting bombs in them. So now, like every good Parisian, I am forced to be a litterbug and throw my trash on the sidewalks.

There have been scares throughout Paris. Today, Terence was in the Châtelet metro station and he and other passengers were forced to evacuate due to a mysterious package that had been left on the platform.

Outside of my yoga school, on the boulevard Henri IV, there were tons of police vans parked everywhere. Part of that, I’m sure, has to do with the fact that the Garde Republicaine is on that boulevard, and they themselves have beefed up security. The guard that usually stands out front in his spiffy uniform today was saddled with an enormous bulletproof vest. And the other night, when I walked by a government building, the guards outside had huge machine guns slung over their shoulders.

After yoga, all of the Americans were comparing stories. Everybody looked grim. Caroline, our yoga teacher, asked us to think positive thoughts during the mantra, sending all of the world’s leaders peace and understanding. If she had asked me to do that a month ago, I would have rolled my eyes—wednesday and today, I was compelled to follow her instructions with as much conviction as I could muster.

I am psychologically exhausted by current events. Sad and depressed about humanity. And having my parents in town has not helped. I have been trying to put into words what it is about them that makes me so angry and stressed, but I have been incapable of forming descriptive sentences. The rage is just bubbling under the surface and it’s made me inarticulate.

3:55 p.m. - 2001-09-14

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