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rue-madame's Diaryland Diary

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A bientŰt tout le monde!

Ok, itís D minus 3 days.

I canít believe I depart for San Francisco on Tuesday. A few days ago, as per my usual denial pattern, I was happily maintaining my composure and crossing things off my list. Now, with a couple of days to go, I am starting to panic a wee bit.

Of course I am prone to Chicken Little-ism and Making Mountains Out of Molehills-ism. The truth is that I have an appointment with my banker on Monday morning to make adjustments to my French account and cancel my renterís insurance. I gathered up all of my books and went to Gibert Jeune to sell them. I got 107 francs! I took the 4 remaining books to Tea and Tattered Pages, an American/English used book shop and tea room, and sold those for 15 francs. The woman warned me that she paid very badly for books, so I said, ďThatís ok, I just want to get rid of themĒ to which she responded, ďYou could always donate them.Ē And well, for 15 francs, I basically did. To cancel my cable modem membership, I broke down and wrote a letter and sent it recommandťe avec avis de reception. I wonít be here to receive the receipt in the mail, but I followed noosí prescribed archaic protocol. In France, the letter is still the preferred mode of official communication for everythingóeven for late 20th century things like the world wide web. I also finally managed to talk to a friendly person at noosnet who counselled me to drop off my cable modem to a vendor just down the street so after today I will no longer have access to the internet. I still have a bunch of clothes to get rid of, and I may donate them to Emmaus, or do what Nadia does, and that is to drop them off near a garbage can and hope that someone who needs them will take them. Eliminate the middle man.

Itís raining again today. Everyone always complains about this, but I think it must be because most people donít have decent raincoats. And I donít mean some hideous NorthFace black and bright yellow number. That is part of my loose plan today: to look for a decent raincoat. I am also supposed to be shopping for a winter coat, but I donít think Iím going to need one right away so Iíve put off making that purchase. Iíve spent the last few days buying presents for people, and today I have to go to the Marais, to Bernie X, to use up my 400 franc credit. I bought a shirt there in July, got home and discovered a hole, went back, tried to get a shirt sans hole, and ended up with credit instead. If I canít find anything, Iíll just use the money for tights or underwear. After today, I will put a moratorium on shopping, for me or anything one else. All this running around makes me feel like itís my last day here, like Iím acting like a desperate tourist because I donít know when Iíll be coming back. I AM coming back. I have to.

I saw my landlady the other day. I mentioned that I wanted to come back, but the next time I move to Paris I hope to have a job. Then hereís what she says to me, ďOh, I know Bernard Arnault, he could maybe help you find something at Louis Vuitton.Ē Christ! Youíd think she could have told me this sooner! He is only THE most important luxury goods magnate on the fucking planet! Maybe I hadnít expressed enough interest? Whatever, You can bet your bottom franc that Iíll be taking her up on her offer. Of course, I still donít know what she does for a living (it is considered impolite to ask) but what do I care if she has juice with LVMH? Iím kicking myself for not having broached ďworkĒ with her before, but I a) didnít want to work when I moved here, and I b) didnít have my portfolio anyway. So now I have a new, stateside goal: to get my portfolio re-organized and polished in order to get work here in Paris, for LVMH or someone else. My landlady is a little bit spacey, and I sometimes get the impression that sheís not all there in the head, so I will now *officially* stop visualizing myself at Louis Vuitton headquarters across from La Samaritaine, casually eating lunch on the roof, making witty conversation with Marc Jacobs and his team. . .

Iím trying not to get too emotional about leaving Paris, but itís hard when I have Parisian friends who are enabling my sadness. So I am trying to think of things to look forward to in the States, such as: seeing Zoolander and Ghostworld (my favorite comic book ever, I even have an autographed copy!) seeing Beulah at the Great American Music Hall with my great pal Ed, hanging out with my bestest friend Harriet in Los Angeles, eating ginormous burritos, having coffee with my favorite mad scientist Ned...

The next time I update, I will be in San Francisco.

10:22 a.m. - 2001-09-29

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