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rue-madame's Diaryland Diary

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Size matters, even in yoga

My shoulders are killing me today.

Itís because I took a yoga class and the teacher made us bend our knees, project our asses backwards, arch our backs, and pull our shoulders behind us, hands on hips. Jesus! I looked ridiculous, and to make matters worse, from my vantage point I could see out the window and onto the alley behind the building where a homeless guy was settling into bed. I could swear he was looking right at me. Anyway, I thought my arms were going to pop out of their sockets. Of course I am cursed, and the teacher picked me to do the demonstration. Then he went on and on about how physiologically, womenís shoulders slope foward. Gee thanks, itís not just me, but all women on the planet. We need to work harder to get them away from our chests, all the while keeping our shoulder blades flat on our backs. You know, the teacher was talking and manipulating my arms and shoulders and I felt like a dumb lump of clay. When I returned to my mat to do it on my own, I had amnesia.

I am not as flexible as I used to be when I was a dancer, and I am constantly amazed at what some people in class can do. They are like pretzels! Even when I was in my limberest phase, I donít think I was as supple as the woman next to me yesterday who was practically folded in two. But there must be something about me that draws the teachers over and makes them use me as their dummy. It canít be that I know what Iím doing. Iím convinced itís my size. Since Iím little, I am always being patted on the head or being treated like a doll. Friends canít just give me hugs; they have to pick me up and make a big show of their embrace. Or if they lean down to kiss me, they get into a real low squat and try to look me in the eye. Itís funny, I guess. I am always craning my neck, standing on my tippy-toes or jumping up and down to see things--the opposite. Fredrick (yoga teacher) squeezed my shoulders in a show of support, patted me on the head, and then readjusted me during the relaxation.

Today Iím going to try a class taught by a woman, and see if I get picked on. Probably not. Women are not as obsessed with size as men.

1:25 p.m. - 2002-01-04

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