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rue-madame's Diaryland Diary



I have been in such a pissy mood today. I hate everything and itís exhausting.

In list form, the things currently making me tremble with irritation:

1. I saw and did not like ďY Tu MamŠ Tambiťn.Ē I am the only person I know besides my parents (who hate everything) who didnít think the film was great. I realize that this means I am becoming more and more like my parents, and this of course is a source of incredible irritation.

2. I had to go out to Nedís today to water his plants, and scavenge around his apartment for some envelope that he wanted me to FedEx to him in San Francisco. Iím annoyed that he doesnít have a FedEx account (all you have to do is call a FREE number to set up your very own FREE account,) and that his apartment is like a 20 year oldís Den of Slack with ironically ugly sidewalk furniture and dumb porn videos on the bookshelf. There was a polaroid near his bed of him and two mystery women, one of which is certainly the one he is currently and surreptitiously dating. I knew he was dating someone because he hadnít been round in a long time, and I donít know, I just got a Ďfeeling.í It helped to have Terence confirm my suspicions when he a) noticed there was firewood at Nedís place a month ago, then he b) stone cold busted Ned with the woman at Swingers. I find this sort of subterfuge childish and insulting.

3. My best friend (who is 32) is dating a 23 year old bartender who has not only a 7 year old daughter, but also a DUI with court-ordered AA meetings and he regularly shows up at her house at 3 am, loaded to the gills. There are red flags aplenty but none of them seem to alarm her.

4. There were tons of giggly chatty girls in yoga, making such a racket. I wanted to throttle them all with my negative Chi.

5. I ran out of milk and coffee simultaneously this morning. It wasnít until this afternoon that I was able to run out and get my works in the form of more milk and coffee.

6. In my frantic near-hallucinatory junkie freakout, I made a mistake and bought fat free milk.

7. Let me get back to the 23 year old bartender. Who hires a 23 year old to tend bar? This is like letting a kid loose in a candy store! But I guess, he kind of is still a kid... with a kid of his own!

8. Another friend of mine (this one male) has been emailing and calling my Favorite Tracy, and I am vehemently opposed to their union, be it platonic or romantic. My opposition is motivated by selfishness, and I have been incapable of offering neutral advice to Tracy. I am mad at myself for even caring.

9. I am also mad at myself for judging my other friend who is dating the 23 year old bartender. Why the hell canít I be more ĎLive and let live?í What the hell is wrong with me?

and finally...

10. I hate my hair, and I canít get it cut until I get paid.

But I have to try and think of fun and exciting things, because I canít just end this entry on such horribleness. So... I am going to see Beulah on Wednesday and I LOVE THEM as you know. Last night, I saw that actor who was in Boiler Room and Suburbia, and is currently on that tv show called ĎBoston Public.í I think his name is N*cky Katt (I hope that is a fake name because his parents really should be scolded for perpetrating that crime on their son.) Heís got great hair. And speaking of hair, I cut Terenceís with one of those buzzy clipper thingies and I did a pretty good job. Normally I get distracted and start gesticulating, giving him odd stripes and shaved bits, but this last time, I paid attention.

6:42 p.m. - 2002-04-29



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