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An entry that is sure to win me lots of criticism... but what could be more French?

I just got off the phone with Hilary and I think she was trying to get rid of me.

I was going off about women who talk about their weaknesses when it comes to men, and I think my somewhat shrill diatribe pissed her off.

More times than I can count, she has “succumbed” to a guy’s advances and has claimed weakness as the reason. Her line is “but I’m weeeaaaaaak” and when she says it, it’s very comical. But at the same time, it irritates me. Because she’s not completely using weakness to refer to something of which she is excessively fond or desirous (like chocolate, or presents) but more weakness as failure--and I’m just going by denotation right now. I know there’s a part of her that likes the sex, and sometimes I wish she would just say, “I like the sex.”

Today Tracy admitted to being weak in front of male sexual advances--even those advances coming from someone she’s not *that* sexually attracted to.

Other friends have mentioned that same sorts of things to me, and I just don’t GET it.

I do not believe in the weakness argument. I believe in choice. Saying that you are weak is just saying you don’t want to accept responsibility for your actions. You don’t want to feel bad about the consequences so saying you’re weak absolves you of any kind of guilt.To sleep with someone is a choice, and it’s not one you should feel bad about unless you’re not that psyched about the person you’re with and they expect more out of it than you do. If you are having sex with someone you’re not sure you like, and you feel conflicted about it, how about not having sex? What is the point in willfully making relationships more complicated than they need to be? Anyone who says that sex does not complicate matters is insane. If you like sex, and don’t care about what people think, then have sex and don’t make excuses for your behavior.

The weakness/choice thing has been coming up a lot lately because I have friends in the beginning stages of relationships with new people. I like sex as much as the next gal, and I love male attention, but I would never “succumb” unless I chose to. Your clothes do not come flying off unless you want them to. I cannot believe that there is a whole group of successful and smart women out there who have collectively decided to not take responsibility for their love and sex lives, preferring to “allow” things to happen when they don’t want them to.

I am so disappointed by this trend. I am disappointed that people get into relationships without deliberate thought, without considering what it is they really want and need, without ascertaining the potential consequences before they act. I know I was a freak when at 21 I decided to never, ever again get involved with guys who did not meet certain requirements. Even when you don’t care that much about the person you’re dating, you still end up feeling crappy after the breakup, even if you know that breaking up was the right thing to do. Why put yourself through that kind of agony on a weekly/monthly/yearly basis? Does it feel like you’re not really living to the fullest unless there’s some drama in your life?

I know that for some people, life is a collection of experiences, and the more the better. Hit the highs, hit the lows. I’m different, I guess.

The other annoying thing about the Tracy/Tony thing is that Tony met Tracy numerous times over a 5 year period, and not until this moment in time has he decided that she might be worth pursuing. Fuck him! Any guy who is not immediately dazzled by Tracy is a schmuck and does not deserve a second or fifth chance.

7:24 p.m. - 2002-05-15



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