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rue-madame's Diaryland Diary

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Exceedingly fashiony entry about the 2002 CFDA Awards

A note to all fashion haters: do not read this entry! You will hate it! And then, you will hate me! Wait a few days then check back.

OK. The 2002 CFDA Awards. I just zipped through some photos from this event at style.com, and here's what I think:

1. Andre Leon Talley: editor-at-large or simply large editor? Having him pose with the Kaiser is actually a pretty funny exercise in scale.

2. and now for Karl Lagerfeld: he really has lost a lot of weight! His face is practically emaciated compared to what he looked like before. God, I love him to pieces--little svelte pieces, that is.

3. Hillary Clinton: what does Oscar de la Renta have against her? Is he Republican? The dress she wore to the awards was positively hideous and unflattering. Can’t someone take pity on her and offer decent fashion suggestions? I mean, she’s a fricken Senator and a former First Lady, and she still looks like she shops at Gottschalk’s. This must stop!

4. Grace Coddington: most of us have foreheads. You can take your hand and comfortably place 4 fingers between your brow and your hairline. Forehead or four-head. This woman Grace has not even a six-head, but like, an eight-head! Nosferatu’s got nothin’ on her. Jesus! And I know what she’s trying to accomplish with her frizzy, puffy red hair: she’s trying to divert our attention away from her shining pate. She’s the Creative Director of Vogue, and has a rolodex full of people who could help her out. While I know it’s important in fashion to strive for a distinctive ‘look,’ to cultivate your own iconography à la Diana Vreeland, but at some point, you just have to give up the ghost and go see some sort of 8-head specialist. Or wear a kerchief in the bohemian/slavic style of Russian ballerinas.

5. Hedi Slimane: the greatest.

6. Simon Doonan: the other greatest. I love this man, and would just about sell my eyeteeth to be his slave. Are you reading this, Simon?

7. Marc Jacobs: yeah, ok, the other OTHER greatest for whom I would gladly sacrifice my 7+ years as a graphic designer to be his office slattern. Are you reading this, Marc? Somebody please assure me that these men are ego-surfing for my benefit.

8. Christina Ricci: as much as I love this little lady, she has a 6-head. But you know, on her, it’s a moon and it’s cute. And I adore how she works the high-angle shot for maximum flattery (I apologize for this, but in order to understand, get thee to style.com, and click around the celebrity portion of the CFDA section to see her photo.)

==> sidebar on flattering high-angle: Did you know that when the camera is above you, and you look up to smile, you automatically look cuter? This has not been scientifically proven, but it works. I swear to God, I always look cuter. What other proof do you need? Keeping that in mind, create your own high-angle at every photographic opportunity. Just keep your chin down, eyes up, and stare lovingly up and into the camera. You will not be disappointed. <==

I’m tired now. Time for a glass of wine.

6:04 p.m. - 2002-06-04

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