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rue-madame's Diaryland Diary

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Bleu Blah Rouge

I went to a bbq on Sunday at my friend Nedís place. His mystery girlfriend was in town, and it was a casual way to get to know her and also to celebrate his art opening.

His girlfriend is nice, but sheís like a composite of two of his old girlfriends, physically and in other ways. Which of course leads me to think that this relationship will go the way of the two others... I am trying not to indulge in schadenfreude because Harriet says that it contributes to bad karma, so I will attribute my skepticism to not knowing the girlfriend well enough.

Anyway, at the bbq, a bunch of us came up with some fantastic sweeping generalizations about Los Angeles, such as:

1. 85% of all men who wear Diesel jeans are gay.

2. Any man who blow dries his hair is not a man. Except in Los Angeles, but even then, you are permitted to have doubts about his masculinity.

3. 90% of all women in Los Angeles have taken or are taking yoga (this came about as we were discussing Ways To Meet Women if you are a single straight guy.)

Once we finished with the percentages, we came up with these:

4. Nothing means what itís supposed to in LA: the right lane is a passing lane, the sidewalk is the bike lane, red traffic lights mean itís safe to turn left, tight shirts and mirrored shades on a guy do NOT mean heís got sugar in his shoes, drawstring pants + flipflops constitute an Outfit for a woman (this one I had to keep to myself as Nedís new girlfriend wore these the day before. But I didnít know that when I was thinking it, I only found out later when we were talking about appropriate attire for scooter- or motorcycle-riding. Thank god I kept my trap shut.)

5. Straight men and gay men alike eat 1/2 a sandwich and take the rest to go.

I think there were more but these are the ones I can remember right now.

There was another discussion (or attempt at a discussion) about the assassination attempt on Chirac, which nobody knew about. Terence was shocked that no one knew, but I wasnít. I donít think anybody reads the newspaper anymore. If folks are informed at all, it is because they are news-aware Monday through Friday when theyíre in their cars, on their way to work, listening to NPR. For them, news doesnít happen on Saturday or Sunday when theyíre not commuting to the office. Somehow the conversation turned into one of those ďFrance would be better without all the French peopleĒ types of conversations and I got really irritated and defensive. Itís one thing to make generalizations about things you are familiar with (Los Angeles, straight men vs. gay men) but itís quite another to discount an entire country based on your xenophobia. The same people claimed not to be enamored of Canadians. This I cannot understand. Canada is not really like a foreign country where because you have a strange accent, theyíre rude/mean/dimissive. Canadians are the nicest people around. Whatís there NOT to love about Canada? Mike Myers? Chixdiggit? The ďThis Hour Has 22 MinutesĒ show?

Say what you want about France, but if you canít love Canada, then I canít love you.

8:18 a.m. - 2002-07-16

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