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Clap! Clap! Julie Andrews!

Two observations accompanied by lengthy quackeroos. I have a client who calls all of the blahblahblah in marketing and sales “quack” or “quackeroo.” She says that all that copy is is an annoying duck trying to get your attention.

Quack quack quack.

Observation number one

People who drive their own Rolls-Royces are fucking idiots. Get a goddamned driver already.

Observation number two

Recruiters are pimps and today I was a ho. I’ve been in touch with one group of creative recruiters down here in Los Angeles, and the leader is an oily medicine man of questionable moral standing. The pimps sent me to a meeting with one of their clients (aka Johns) about a possible book design project. It became clear to me after about 15 minutes that none of the people in the room had any idea how a book gets made, so I spent a lot of the meeting explaining how things work.

This happens to me in most of the meetings I attend. I listen to what the client wants and then slowly and assiduously explain that that’s actually not what they need. Most people who ask me for a logo don’t get one. They’ll get some sort of distinctive type treatment, or maybe a little icon-slash-bug-slash-doodle, but they most certainly won’t get a logo from me unless they’re a crazy, diverse multinational that needs to be distilled into one, unique concept. Everyone wants “branding” but very few people understand what that means.

The meeting itself went really well. I freaked out a little bit because one woman, clearly over 65, had obviously had a lot of surgery (including a not-so-great nosejob) and was wearing an outfit best described as Forever-21-meets-Talbot’s. I know I live in LA, but I so seldom rub up against what’s stereotypical here, that when I’m confronted with une femme d’un certain age in Seniors-inappropriate clothing, I get thrown for a loop. Everyone was very friendly and chatty and flattering about my portfolio and I left feeling that I’d made a good impression.

But I don’t want the job as described by the recruiting agency. I want the real job which is this: designing a few spreads and cover concepts for their book idea. That’s all they really need to generate interest and get publishers excited and motivated.

When I called My Pimp this afternoon to give him the update, he told me not to worry about the client, “they’re in entertainment, and all entertainment companies are notorious for throwing money away, so why not take advantage? Why not design whatever it is they want? What do you care?”

All of a sudden My Pimp went from being My Pimp to being Satan and I felt like Dudley Moore in “Bedazzled” except my Satan was not nearly as sexy as Peter Cook.

Which leads conveniently into...

Observation number three (ok, ok, so there are three observations not just two as previously thought...)

The second best part about “Bedazzled” is the fact that The Devil always wears red socks. Even when he becomes an animated cartoon fly on the wall, he still has little red mittens on two of his legs. The first and bestest part of the movie is the ReadySteadyGo section where The Devil upstages Dudley Moore and sings a fantastic, trippendicular, psychedelic number with my favorite lyric of all time:

You fill me with inertia.

So that’s about it for today. Terence has a second interview in Long Beach tomorrow, and I hope it goes well. The company is not as interesting as he would like, but the parent company is French. Youpi.

3:47 p.m. - 2003-01-16



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