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rue-madame's Diaryland Diary


B-Day minus 2

Itís two days before my birthday, and the decrepitude has made itself known: Iíve got a bunch of fresh, gray hairs, and my back hurts. I did a wrinkle check this morning, however, and there is stasis in the eye area. So not all is going to pot.

I actually feel like Iím in great shape these days, and to prove it to you, I will tell you about my latest achievement in yoga. We did a crazy maneuver yesterday (I canít remember the name of the pose,) and I demonstrated it without falling on my face. Youíre only as old as you wanna be! It was a handstand where you bend your arms chataranga style, one leg lowers to the side and rests on one of your upper arms, the other leg lowers slowly so that it is directly behind you as your body becomes more parallel to the ground. Then you balance in this sort of modified split. My face hovered a few inches off the ground. I got some applause when I was done. Yay!

My abdominals are super sore today as a result.

Spotting the move was trickier than actually doing it, and I think the woman with whom I was paired was annoyed with me for being so confused about where to put my hands and where to support her. Oh well, lady, you win some, you lose some. Take a deep breath and chill the fuck out.

I got a check in the mail today so we went grocery shopping. We splurged and bought a few bottles of wine. Everybodyís been talking about this cheapo wine nicknamed Two Buck Chuck, and we bought some to try. Weíve also got a few bottles of good stuff on hand in case Chuck disappoints. I am such a snob that I canít conceive of a wine that costs $1.99 that isnít Night Train or Thunderbird. I wouldnít even drink something in France for that little. Thatís hobo wine!

For dinner I have planned grilled chicken breast, salad and baked sweet potatoes. Food, glorious, food! I canít wait to eat. The last few days around here have been borderline Dickensian in the sustenance department. One day I actually scraped a thimbleful of almond butter out of the jar and spread it on half a banana and ate it like it was the last meal on earth.

And now a non-sequitur to add levity:

- A couple of weeks ago, some Jehovahís Witnesses came to our front door. After Terence got rid of them, I thought to myself, ďWhat kind of religion goes door to door to spread the gospel? Itís pathetic, like when I had to sell candy bars and tombola tickets for school.Ē Even as a kid, I was mortified .

How undignified! I could never subscribe to a religion that basically panhandles to get new members. At least the Catholics have the good breeding to ask for money during service, within the walls of the church.

Notice how the above statements say more about my level of snobbery than they do about my level of devotion. Iím all about oversimplifying to make a point. And donít even get me started on those bumper stickers that say, ďJesus is God. Read the Bible.Ē Jesus is the son of God, and if you read the Bible, you would know that, asshole!

I have no idea why I am so ornery today. Must be the food high Iím on.

6:43 p.m. - 2003-05-07



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