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Double trouble

So Julia R0berts is pregnant with twins.

Everybody is having twins these days. It’s very trendy. Geena Davi$ has twins. Al Pacin0 has twins. Dave Matthew$ has twins. J0an Lunden’s were birthed by a surrogate, but still… twins! Julia claims that there are twins in her family, and for all I know, she’s telling the truth. But whenever I hear of anyone expecting twins these days, my first impulse is to ask, “Are they real?”

This happened a month ago when we were in Marin for a wedding. I was talking to one of Terence’s former colleagues and she mentioned that another one of their former colleagues had just had twins.

“For real?”

“Yeah.”

“No, I mean, real twins? Like twins that run in the family twins? Or genetically modified twins?”

Terence scolded me, but his friend said, “No, I think it was hormone therapy.”

“Ahhh.”

I realize it wan’t very polite of me to ask that question. It made it seem like I was passing judgment on the couple’s fertility, but I wasn’t. I was just curious.

Terence’s mom is a twin, and his nieces are twins. There’s a big chance that if decided to have a baby, “it” could very well turn out to be “they.” Fraternal, identical, whatever.

OHMYGOD! Two!

At the same time!

The horror!

There’s a veritable twin explosion going on! Isn’t anyone else freaked out about this? About the world soon being populated by hundreds of Selma and Patty’s? Sherri and Terri’s? Ashley and Mary-Kate’s?

Zombie nation, here we come.

5:08 p.m. - 2004-06-02

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