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rue-madame's Diaryland Diary


Return of the Gimp

SF was the same as usual. Drippy fog, drippy eyes, drippy noses.

A few years back, my allergist asked me where I lived.

“Near Golden Gate Park. In the Inner Sunset.”

She looked me square in the eye (eyes are round, by the way) and practically screamed with her Polish accent, “You must move! That is the WORRRRST place for you to live. With your allerrrrgies!”

I never did, and was constantly popping antihistamines. This time around, I was knocking back Allegras like they were TicTacs. I was staying at my younger sister’s. She lives in the Inner Sunset.

It wasn’t much better in the Castro, where my parents live. The whole city has become one giant allergen! It finally occurred to me that I might not ever live in SF again, and the reason has nothing to do with my family, or real estate that is stratospherically expensive or parking that is so colossally fucked up and annoying that you’d rather abandon your car with the keys in it than circle the block one more time.

I am totally allergic to San Francisco! The city is my kryptonite!

Now that I’ve got that out of the way, I can focus on more important matters, like how my left foot magically swelled up after a hike from Valencia and 23rd to Castro and Liberty. I thought physical deterioration was going to stop in 2005, but apparently I was dead wrong. The deterioration marches on, undeterred by my clean living and healthy eating and exercise habits.

I am totally mystified by the fact that I did not eat a single burrito while in SF. I ate just about everything else, leaving town feeling very much the foie gras.

Oh my god! What if this foot thing is… GOUT??? If it is, then my kinship with Louis XIV will be confirmed.

2:10 p.m. - 2005-01-19



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