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rue-madame's Diaryland Diary

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Les sabots d'H�l�ne

The public radio station here, KCRW, is holding its pledge drive right now. That means that out of every hour, 10 minutes are spent on national news, 50 minutes on begging for money. It�s so annoying. One pledge wrangler said, �Can you believe in England, people have to pay a tax the equivalent of $150 a year to support public radio? And here, we just ask you to donate what you can!� like that was a good thing. I felt like calling her up and saying, �Charge me the fucking tax so I don�t have to listen to your sorry ass!� but that would have been insensitive. The new Me thinks a little longer before she acts (well, at least, the new Me is trying. Remember, this is the same Me who insulted her friend on her friend�s birthday... Smooth move.)

That pledge drive and the fucking SuperBowl have made me feel even more like I don�t belong here. The underdog team, the Patriots, won. Who paid off the NFL for that? In addition, the other night at The Dresden I had a strange exchange with someone that made me realize to what degree I am not 100% American. Leigh asked me, �What did you do today?� and I listed all of the activities, including making lunch. She thought this was hilarious, �Making lunch? That�s an item on your list? That�s just something that you do, automatically, you know, not anything that takes that much effort.� I don�t know why this bothered me so much, but it did. It�s not like I spend a ton of time making lunch, but for me, it�s a ritual that requires some thought and preparation. You make the food, you set the table, you eat and talk, you put stuff away, you do the dishes, you have a coffee afterwards with maybe a little piece of chocolate, then you get back to work. I don�t often have experiences that throw my bi-culturalism into such sharp relief, I guess.

People think it�s so amazing that I speak fluent French, but I really had no choice in the matter. It was a priority for my parents, and so voila, I speak and write French. It�s not a novelty, it�s just a fact. I set the table with the fork on the left, the knife on the right, blade in, and the spoon on the top, curved side down. I don�t always put my napkin on my lap, but my hands are always on the table. When I eat salad, I use a knife and fork to fold up the larger leaves into portions that will fit into my mouth. I never cut lettuce with a knife. This is normal to me.

Man, I never thought a white cake with chocolate frosting would have this kind of effect on me.

9:25 a.m. - 2002-02-06

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