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rue-madame's Diaryland Diary


When you're alone and life is making you lonely, you can always go... downtown

Alright, alright. I will post a photo of the new hairdo as soon as I can get Ned’s digital camera. I asked him if I could borrow it and he said sure, as long as I send him a copy of the nudie shots...

I went to a play last night and it was very cool. It was designed like a silent movie, so not only was there no dialogue, it was in black and white. Everything was set to different music (a lot of it was the soundtrack to Amélie Poulain) and there were choreographed dream sequences, chases, dances etc. A friend of mine from yoga was in it, and I can’t wait to see her tomorrow so I can tell her how great it was!

Today is such a Sunday. I woke up, made coffee, and baked a coffee cake with apple in it. Then I did handwash, cleaned the bedroom, looked at the clock and decided to make lunch. I ate a cheese and vegetable sandwich (made all the more savory with the addition of fresh, chopped dill,) did the dishes, then tried to work. I’ve spent about an hour or more trying to conceptualize on a project, and I have been treading water. Ugh. I hate it when that happens. No energy, no inspiration, no ideas, completely clueless.

So now I’m having a coffee in the hopes that the caffeine will rattle my creativity loose, or at the very least, give me the motivation to do some research. If nothing happens in the next half hour or so, I may have to throw in the towel and take a nap.

When I was hanging out with Ned yesterday, we got on the subject of my other friend T-y. We were discussing whether or not he was straight. Up until his brief interlude with our friend Tracy, none of us had ever heard him mention girls, or seen him checking one out, or anything like that. Terence thinks of T-y as asexual; Ned says T-y’s definitely not gay, but whether or not he’s actually had man/woman sex is another matter entirely.

It was very funny because I mentioned how T-y doesn’t cook, and the main reason he doesn’t is that he dislikes having anything on his hands. The sight of food preparation and the thought of it just freaks him out, and this is why the only thing he prepares is cereal or toast. Except for adding milk, butter or jam, those foods are dry. The guy eats every meal at restaurants and keeps his hands spotless.

So Ned says, “No way! That guy’s never had sex. That’s impossible! At some point, you’re going downtown! I mean, you gotta go downtown! And if that guy’s a germophobe, there’s not way he’s going downtown!” So I say, “You got that right! If the guy’s not going downtown, he’s sent packing!” Goddamn, it was hi-fucking-larious. Then, because we were watching the Giants’ game, we were throwing baseball metaphors all over the place, and it got messy and ridiculous.

Ned: You mean to tell me that T-y’s been to 3rd base?

Me: I believe he has been to 3rd base.

Ned: Did he bring it home? I mean, did he score? There’s nudity at 3rd! He doesn’t even wear short-sleeved shirts!

Me: Nah, I don’t think he got waved home. I think he got sent back to 2nd.

Terence: What are you talking about? He was tagged out at second! There’s no way a girl’s gonna let him get to 3rd if he’s not going downtown!

Then like the bunch of assholes that we are, we discussed T-y naked, and we all agreed that that the sight of him without clothes on would be enough to kill even the most raging libido. The guy is so pasty, he makes those clear science dolls look sexy.

We were in hysterics. It was just wrong, WRONG, but I tell you, I haven’t laughed that hard in a long time. And now, I can never listen to Petula Clark without thinking about oral sex.

4:06 p.m. - 2002-10-13



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