rue-madame's Diaryland
Diary
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Minus 2 friends, plus 1 friend
Whirlwind-o-rama or maybe it should be whirlwind redux? Anyway, it�s Monday night and I am fucking exhausted. I feel like I�ve been on a treadmill for three days, and I�m just now falling off and collapsing. As you know, there were two San Francisco people in town this weekend. One friend that I adore, and another one that makes me a little uneasy. And here�s why: a long time ago, we worked together and right around the time I tendered my resignation, I started to feel sorry for her in a really evil and bad Popular Girl vs. Special People way. Even writing this makes me feel like such an asshole. I was nice and helpful to her out of pity. See? I had the worst motives! I acted out of charity, and how fucked up is that? You can�t offer friendship that way. It�s cruel. I don�t want to meet her family. I don�t want to get closer. I�m not even comfortable with the friendship at its current level. I feel like I�m being trotted out for some kind of validation. It�s probably absurd, not to mention egomaniacal, for me to think this way. And the real question is: iss she going to fashion a freakish Silence of the Lambs Rue-Madame coat? Because if she is, I want OFF this crazy thing. And speaking of coats, you all know that I own the coat to end all coats? (and one of these days, I�ll post a picture of me wearing the thing) Today, I tried on a very cute, tomato-red little number at Banana Republic. It was $180 on sale, and fit perfectly (except in the sleeves which were, naturally, too long.) I did not buy it. I resisted. No cheap, slave-labor clothing for me. The reality is that I cannot justify any sort of purchase when I don�t know if I�ll make rent in a few months, so I�ve got to be Squirrel Nutkin and conserve, conserve, conserve. I also saw my MJ boots at Neiman�s, and I was tempted to try them on (again) but I so despise that store that I decided not to. No need to spend money for bad service. Vote with your dollar (or in my case, VETO with your dollar.) The other friend (originally from Montana) who was in town was a handful, mostly because she talks incessantly. But she�s highly entertaining, always has tons of funny stories, and is very warm and gregarious. She�s getting married in June, so she talked a lot about wedding stuff, but it didn�t annoy me because she doesn�t take my unmarried stance personally. I love this about her. When she asks me if I�m ever getting married, and I say �fuck no,� she neither bats an eyelash nor wants to get into some feigned-concern conversation about it. She just looks at me and cracks up. At one point, we went to a bead store because she was looking for some pins with pearls on top (these pins are inserted into the centers of flowers to make the floral arrangements more photogenic. Did you know this?) She wanted my feedback, and all I could offer was �Why can�t a flower be a flower? Why does it have to be adorned?� when a woman interrupted and talked about these special pins with their special names and special variations, and my eyes glazed over. These days, with the hair the makeup the stylists the dresses the Vera Wangs/Manolos/Jimmy Choos the tiaras the veils the fancy underthings the Wedding issue of InStyle that everyone wants to copy, the marriage itself is not nearly as important as how it�s captured in photos or on video. I�ll take �Form Over Content� for $50,000, Mr. McLuhan. At some point we drove to Santa Monica, and had coffee with Nadia�s little cousin, who just moved to California from Paris. He�s the second French guy I�ve met in the last three years who doesn�t drink coffee. I can�t understand this, but at least, he likes giant hot chocolate with whipped cream. I�ve invited him to Thanksgiving so he can experience what I believe is the best American holiday. He loves American tv, recognized my Claddagh ring from an ancient episode of Buffy (which made him my new best friend,) and went on and on about how much he loves the films of John Hughes, and how none of his friends in France can understand his fascination with �The Breakfast Club� and �Pretty in Pink.� I think this is going to be the beginning of a lovely friendship. You win some, you lose some.
6:53 p.m. - 2002-11-18
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