rue-madame's Diaryland Diary

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Mawidge

We were invited to a block party over the weekend. It was fun but as usual, odd.

TA and I were the only couple in our age group without a baby or a grown child. When we left, one of the guests yelled, �Hey next year you�d better come with a baby!�

To which I yelled back, �Yeah, we�ll get right on that!�

It was all in good fun, but it made me wonder: why do folks feel it�s ok to impose their procreative fantasies on people they�ve just met? Why is my company not enough? It kind of surprised me. What if I�d been barren? Or had just miscarried? Would they have still ordered me to have sex without protection? Or commanded me to adopt?

Weird.

Terence was also introduced as my boyfriendfianc�, one word. People just cannot wrap their brains around the fact that we are not married.

�You�re not married?�

�Nope.�

�Engaged?�

�Nope.�

�What if you want to have kids?�

�Last time I checked, you didn�t need to be married to do that.�

�Wouldn�t you rather be married, for the children�s sake?�

�For their sake, or for yours?�

When I was younger, I delighted in confounding people, but I don�t feel like explaining anymore. It�s a choice. Like your choice to wear a Nascar outfit that matches your beer cozy, that guy over there�s choice to eat meatballs with pineapple, that woman�s choice to go for a bike ride at sunset. My choice to attend this block party and try to make nice.

Freedom in action.

At a party in LA a few years ago, a woman said, �Oh, how long have you and boyfriend been dating?�

When I told her how long it had been and that it wasn�t really dating anymore, she sputtered, �Well when you say �boyfriend� it�s more like a fly by night relationship.�

Piqued, I replied, �So when you and your husband were girlfriend/boyfriend, that was fly-by-night?�

�No of course not. We got married. But when you say �husband� it�s like shorthand for long-term.� Her tone was so fucking patronizing, I wanted to poke her eyes out and say, �So it was fly-by-night until the second you repeated your vows? What about being his girlfriend was not committment?�

But instead I said, �Yeah, well, I�m not into shorthand for simpletons.�

I walked away after that. And accidentally ended up talking to her husband/shorthand who was overly flirtatious and made me very uncomfortable. Ick. I found out later that The Shorthand had tried feeling up a friend of mine under the dinner table, while his wife ate right across from them.

Maybe next year, TA and I will attend the block party with our bastard child and watch everyone�s eyes pinwheel into the backs of their heads.

9:57 a.m. - 2004-09-13

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