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rue-madame's Diaryland Diary

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Toothless

Is it ok to eat Nutella with a spoon? Then chase it with a spoonful of almond butter and some smashed banana?

And call it a �snack�?

I am so paranoid about the rest of my tooth falling out that I�ve been eating mushy things. I�ve also been leaning to the right when I eat to ensure that food stays on the �good� side of my mouth. I�m sure I look deranged. Nothing new.

The weirdest thing really is feeling like I�ve got Half Dome in my mouth. As if my tooth had been sheared magically in half by some state park-level natural forces.

It feels so gross and nauseating when I run my tongue over the broken part. Naturellement, I cannot stop checking in the mirror to sicken myself further by looking at it. What is this bizarre urge?

I think I spent most of yesterday in a funk over the tooth. I felt pathetic sipping tea through a straw, carefully eating baby rice cereal. It was like a sign from above. �This is what you have to look forward to. Be thankful you have all but one tooth in working order� or something. Or maybe it was more like �You think you�re so high and mighty with your educated, well-bred teeth. I�ll show you.�

Teeth are very important. In dreams, teeth have huge significance. If they�re rotting, that can mean that your business is in jeopardy; if they�re falling out, that can signify that you�re questioning your self-image or just anxious about future plans. On top of actually having a broken tooth, I am also having tooth nightmares, people! I am doubly screwed!

Bad teeth are a social stigma. Try to imagine the stereotype of a southern yokel without bad teeth or a giant gap between the two front ones. (Except for you, Madonna. Oh and you, Letterman.) Or how about an Austin Powers without dirty beans-on-toast teeth? Or think of teeth in the emerging world: solid ones made of gold or silver--like Jaws from �Moonraker�, only scarier because that�s as modern as the dentistry gets!

This is one of my more American sides, this obsession with perfect, healthy shiny teeth. I�m not proud of it; it�s just one of those socio/economic cultural biases you grow up with. In France, teeth don�t stand in for class and status the way they do here. It�s something peculiar to the States, I think. We brush and floss with a frequency that makes other cultures scoff.

I didn�t mean to write so much about teeth. Kind of a strange entry. One with no bite, ha ha!

4:09 p.m. - 2004-09-22

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