rue-madame's Diaryland Diary

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Doh!nuts

For the first time since moving to the east coast, I ate a Dunkin Donut.

I was told by countless Connecticounts that there was nothing more authentic, so this morning, we broke down and stopped to pick up some donuts before heading to my office.

The people in line at the DD were so scary and fucked-up looking that TA advised me not to speak. �Let me do the talking,� he said. It seemed like everyone there was either covered in prison tattooes or scabs. Not that there�s anything wrong with either of those things, I mean especially if you�re a fan and what-not.

Anyway, we ordered some boston cremes (because a CT native told me they were good) and left.

The donuts were fine. I mean, they�re donuts. DONUTS. It�s not like the wheel�s being reinvented or anything. There�s dough, they deep-fry it, they slather it in a sugary coating. Rinse. Repeat. The donuts were fresh, the chocolate was gooey, and the cr�me filling was custardy and not too sweet, and they were dirt cheap. Two donuts was, like, a dollar or something. Is it any wonder people go apeshit for donuts? They�re almost cheaper than air.

So now I�ve had the famous donuts and I can cross that off the list.

Did you realize that donuts on the east coast have different names than donuts on the west coast? Have I talked about this before? An old-fashioned from California is sometimes called a cruller here and then sometimes (as in the case of Krispy Kreme) simply called a cake donut (with the �old fashioned� shape.) I have also noticed�not that I�m eating donuts with great frequency or anything�that sugar-covered jelly-filled donuts are occasionally called bismarcks. Huh?

When I was a kid, I was totally mystified by donuts. We never ate them in my family, and the few times I accompanied friends into donut shops, I was stumped. How did they know the names of all of the different varieties? There were never any signs with names or anything! I was also intrigued by how people could flip open a box of donuts and know, just by looking, what was inside each one just by assessing the outside. It was like they were donut psychics! �Hmm, powdered sugar on the outside, a round and bulbous exterior� must be filled with red jelly!� It was amazing!

One thing�s for certain: those donuts have about three hundred pounds of sugar in them. I was high for HOURS this morning. And I didn�t even drink coffee!

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