rue-madame's Diaryland Diary

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Crankypants

Still busy but I�ve noticed some tendon laxity (I think this is what it is officially called?) on the 4th finger of my right hand. Bring on the hand deformities! That didn�t take long, did it? Diagnosed almost a year ago to the day, and already with the fucked up Wicked Witch of the West action.

Fuck you rheumatoid arthritis.

I�m sure all of this work isn�t doing my hands any good, but what the hell am I supposed to do? Go on disability? I don�t have disability insurance. Am I supposed to find a new career, one in which I don�t need to use my hands? How do you not use your hands? What kind of a new career do you train for where you don�t have spend a lot of time WRITING? I can�t even be a supermarket checker.

I am so mad. It would be so much better if someone less active, less hand-dependent, less graphic designery, less ME could have gotten this disease.

So much for thinking the world was awesome and shiny and new! I hate it when I�m in such a foul mood.

I think I need to go home now.

8:42 p.m. - 2006-04-13

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