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rue-madame's Diaryland Diary

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Can I get a witness?

Oh my god you guys! Do you realize I almost could have been Mrs SpongeBob SquarePants?

Ok, ok, it’s a stretch, but I was almost asked out on a date by the man who does SpongeBob’s voice! This was way back in 1988, probably. I was at Le Video on 9th Avenue in San Francisco, and my sister, my nephew and I had just dashed in to get a movie (or maybe a paycheck, since I worked there.)

Anyway, Tom Kenny was a regular customer and he and I would sometimes just chitchat at the counter when he was renting stuff. I would see him at comedy shows, too, and he was hilarious. Comedy was huge in SF at the time, and there were tons of soon-to-be famous funny people who rented movies from me.

So there I was in the store and somehow the subject of “Giant” came up. It was playing at The Castro or something, and I remember going on and on to Tom about how my favorite scene is the one in which the children refuse to eat Pedro the turkey for Thanksgiving. The way they wail about Pedro never fails to crack me up; what can I say, it’s timeless comedy, folks!

So Tom mentioned that he was planning to go with a friend, but that the friend had flaked, blahblahblah and I was so dense that I didn’t pick up the jist of what he was getting at. Like a nimrod, I just kept talking about Pedro the Turkey!

It wasn’t until we’d left the store that my sister jabbed me and said, “You’re so fucking dense! He was totally going to ask you to go with him to the movies! Retard! You are such a blockhead!” or whatever.

So who’s the turkey now? The JIVE turkey!

I just sent my sister the article about him, and she emailed me back immediately with this:

“He so famous now. Did you know this before this article? You so crazy: You maybe Mrs SquarePants.”

5:59 p.m. - 2003-06-14

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