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rue-madame's Diaryland Diary

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Feelin' my truth, yo

I probably should lock this as I am now entering into murky territory with the inclusion here of an email volley between myself and the former clients who climbed out of the woodwork the other day. The names of the innocent have been changed, although frankly, no oneís that innocent anymore. Not even Britney. Can you feel my truth?

My truth/email (the one with the dreaded ďSĒ word) said this:
ďGreat to hear from you Blankety Blank! It's been a while since we last spoke/worked together.

As much as I would love to design the Blankety Blank logo, I really can't lower my fee. I'm sure you understand that $ is a bargain basement quote.

I know you both would like to present polished cards for Blankety Blank. Perhaps this step can wait until there is sufficient budget for me? Or maybe you'd prefer to find someone for $250 just to get the cards rolling and ready in time for the show?

I hope this doesn't affect our teaming up for the packaging projects. I am still very interested in collaborating with both you and Blankety Blank on upcoming books, and look forward to some publishing synergy*!Ē

I tried to balance my denial with some friendly and useful advice, and ended the email on a downright cheery fucking note if I do say so myself. (and I do.)

* this is the dreaded word. Blech.

Hereís what I got in response:
ďHi rue-madame,
Thanks for getting back to me so quickly. I discussed this information with Blankety Blank and we agreed that we'll need to go elsewhere for our logo and business cards.

I certainly understand the amount of time and energy that goes into your
work and we weren't looking to shortchange you. However, we were hoping that the offer of potential higher-end work would inspire you to help us out while we're getting the word out on our new venture.

Thanks anyway and, as always, best.Ē

Huh? ďBestĒ?

Sounds to me like theyíre taking their marbles and going home. Now thatís SOME professionalism.

You know, there are days when I truly believe Iím running a Mickey Mouse operation but then I get an email like that, and it makes me rethink my entire viewpoint and realize that while I may just be one little Minnie, I always conduct myself with diplomacy and polish. I donít get into a snit and send arrogant emails when shit doesnít go my way (I have my fits in private, or here in this diary, like an ďadult.Ē)

It makes me laugh that these two people who have probably more than 10 years of combined experience in publishing would behave this way. Particularly when they were hoping to trot out my design credentials at the tradeshow in an effort to land clients. Iím sorry, but that design fee Iím charging? The one that represents about 1/8Ē of what I would normally charge? Thatís tax-deductible! If you canít suck it up and pay my measly Friends and Family price you are not allowed to trade on my professional experience. Allez vous faire foutre, bande de salopes!

Hmmm, that feels better.

I had more blood tests today. I am now being tested for Hep B and Hep C. Iím pretty sure the results are going to come back negative, but still, itís unsettling. Also worrisome: Iím almost out of methotrexate. I think the doctor miscalculated how many pills I needed in one month, and Iím going to be short for the next few weeks unless she calls in a new prescription.

Today is Thursday so predictably, I woke up feeling the worst Iíve felt in a week. I could barely use my hands and arms to get myself out of bed, and struggled with the kettle and the tea. I managed to get all of my pills organized, but I really would have preferred to sleep another hour. Waking up in pain at 5:45 is no fun.

2:44 p.m. - 2005-05-19

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